I was recently reading an article on the science of kindness that emphasized how acts of kindness (doing them and witnessing them) produce measurable neuro-chemical and physiological effects. Being kind or experiencing kindness triggers a biological “safe zone” that includes bonding, reward, lowered threat and lowered physiological arousal. That zone is comfortable and reinforces prosocial behavior.
Within a day of reading that article, I got a call from a colleague who had received a sharp, critical email from another colleague. The way my colleague responded so kindly and amicably left me astonished because I thought an equally sharp response was warranted and justified.
Afterwards, in reflection, I thought about the many times that I have coached individuals through giving feedback and some of my own experiences giving feedback to direct reports. Even in situations like the one mentioned above, my reflection took me to a place where I wanted to understand exactly what happens when we give and or receive feedback. Some of what happens are mechanisms at work that are automatic and occur below the surface, often without our conscious input. I knew from my colleague's response that something else was at work, underneath. I thought: Neurophysiology is a critical piece of the story that, if understood well, can help a leader be more effective at giving feedback.
Please select this link to read the complete article from Psychology Today.