06/06/2025

Five Tips to Navigate the Currents of Conflict

First you must notice you're swimming upswing

It was not the first time my son said, “no” to my “yes” that day. It felt like the umpteenth, even if it was maybe only the third. I felt like I was slogging through sludge to get anywhere with him, to get anything done. And so I stopped. “I give up,” I said. "This feels as if I’m swimming upstream and I am not a salmon looking to spawn, so I refuse to swim upstream. I’m done fighting.”

My son looked at me, in puzzlement and then laughed. I had somehow broken our mood and our stuck place and we moved on. And as our day went on, I thought of all the times I swim upstream. All the times I push ahead no matter what. And how often we all do that.

In fact, I was meeting with a colleague yesterday and shared the story with her, as well as my determination to not swim upstream anymore, at least not as much. “Oh no,” she quickly replied. “I always swim upstream. I wouldn’t do it any other way.” “Really?” I replied. “Because I’ve decided I can probably get more done, and have more fun, if I just flow downstream. I love white-water rafting, and I can go quicker on the white-water than pushing against the current. Again, I am not a salmon looking to spawn."

Please select this link to read the complete blog post from Chatsworth Consulting Group.