02/21/2024

How to Have More Meaningful Conversations

It doesn't require being a super-communicator

Think, for a moment, about who you would call if you were having a bad day. If you'd screwed up a deal at work, gotten into an argument with your spouse or were feeling frustrated and sick of it all: To whom would you want? There’s probably someone you know will make you feel better, who can help you think through a thorny question, or share a moment of heartbreak or joy.

That person, for you, is what I like to call a "super-communicator" (and, odds are, for them, you are a super-communicator, too.) All of us, at times, achieve moments of supercommunication. But there are some people who are super-communicators much more consistently—they know how to connect with nearly anyone, to make conversations easier, to make us feel like we've really been heard. We all know supercommunicators: They're the people everyone seems to know, the ones likely to be elected to positions of authority, the folks others turn to when they need to discuss something serious or ask for advice.

Over the past three years, I've explored the research behind super-communication and encountered important lessons. Most notably, we're not born knowing how to communicate effectively. Rather, communication is a set of skills that nearly anyone can learn. Super-communicators aren't inherently more charismatic or extroverted. Rather, they just think about communication a little bit harder and they have mastered the tools that allow them to connect.

Please select this link to read the complete article from TIME.