02/16/2024

A Loneliness Cure

Make one friend a year

In my psychotherapy practice, when someone is feeling lonely and craving more from their friendships, I encourage them to work on making one dear friend that year who could be someone they already know.

The landmark Harvard Study of Adult Development suggests that close relationships are the most significant factor in personal well-being — yet it is not the number of relationships, but the quality of the connection that matters. Gaining one closer friend in 2024 may significantly boost your life satisfaction, as friendship is known to protect against stress and improve mental health. And one friend a year is manageable, yet could lead to three friends in three years and a handful of friends in five.

The one friend per year idea came from my friend and colleague, Barb Adelman Herstig, as we talked about our psychotherapy work over tea in my office near Minneapolis. This is another thing that friends provide: a fresh perspective. Our offhand conversation stayed with me and has informed the way I approach the subject of connection.

Please select this link to read the complete article from The Washington Post.