09/29/2023

How to Help an Employee Who Rubs People the Wrong Way

Sometimes, people are obtuse about how they're received

If you’ve ever cringed in a meeting when your direct report was talking, you know how tough it can be to watch a team member undermine themselves. Maybe the person is interrupting colleagues too often. Or being condescending, or even combative. No matter the specific behavior, your employee is clearly rubbing people the wrong way. As the manager, you know it’s your job to address the issue, but you’re not sure how to start the conversation. What should you say? How do you broach the topic?

What the Experts Say
"It always difficult to give someone serious performance or behavioral feedback in a way that doesn’t put that person on the defensive," said Caroline Webb, author of How to Have a Good Day and CEO of the coaching firm Sevenshift. And when the feedback is about an employee’s personal style, the task is even harder.

Telling employees that they're alienating colleagues requires "a great deal of delicacy," she said. But it’s a conversation you need to have. "Letting the behavior go will only lead to bigger problems down the road," said Amy Jen Su, managing partner of Paravis Partners and co-author of Own the Room. In most jobs success depends on collaboration, she added, "Doing your job well is about not just your ability to get your own work done but also your ability to work with others." If your employees aren’t getting the job done, it’s your responsibility to talk to them about it. Here’s how to handle this difficult conversation.

Please select this link to read the complete article from Harvard Business Review.