Complete Story
05/28/2020
Tips for Getting Your Life Back to Normal After a Crisis
by Rosemarie Rossetti, Ph.D.
From time to time situations occur in our lives that force us out of our regular routines. Currently, while we are all in self-isolation and social distancing, we struggle to adjust our lives to this COVID–19 crisis. We temporarily are faced with making changes that we resist. These changes are forced upon us as a result of adversity in our lives.
Illness, injury, loss of a loved one, work changes, divorce and bankruptcy can all lead to a sudden realization that our lives have changed. We are resistant, wanting our lives back again the way they were. We want to be “normal” again. We want our lives to be as they were: fully functioning; doing the things we used to do; sleeping through the night; eating; working; getting out of our homes. We shudder at the thought that we will never be “normal” again.
My life drastically changed in 1998 after a spinal cord injury that paralyzed me from the waist down. My injury was caused by a 7,000-pound tree that fell on me while riding my bicycle. The sudden change in my life caused me to grieve my loss and desperately cling to thoughts of returning to the life I lived before my injury. I told my physical therapist, “I want my life back.” I struggled each day as I tried to do my daily self-care and be mobile.
What I have learned is that “normal” can be defined by each individual and redefined throughout life. As we change, so should our perceptions of what is “normal.” Being a person with a disability means I am no longer able to do certain things like walk, jog and run. Being disabled doesn’t imply that I am not normal. I got my life back, but getting it back exactly as it was before my injury is unlikely.
For me, life after my injury returned to a new normal. I had to adapt and modify how I do things like drive a car with hand controls and navigate in my wheelchair. I had to give up doing some things like rollerblading and hiking. I substituted doing other activities like taking an adaptive yoga class online. I ride my three-wheeled recumbent bicycle in my community when the weather and my schedule permits.
I have my life back. It’s just different now. I continue to have a loving relationship with my husband, and we are now home together 24/7. I help take care of our home and mow the grass on a riding lawnmower with hand controls.
I returned to my career as a professional motivational speaker a few months after coming home from the hospital. Since the pandemic, my in-person presentations have been postponed, canceled or rebooked as virtual meetings. As I look ahead in the meetings industry, I anticipate that my future bookings will be virtual presentations. I don’t see myself on a stage in front of live audiences soon. My topic in the meetings industry is focused on accommodating people with disabilities at meetings and events. As the meetings industry slowly returns to hosting live meetings again, my topic will be important to meeting professionals.
As you ponder your life after adversity, think about what returning to normal would mean for you. What modifications in your lifestyle will need to be made? What adaptations would help you to be more productive? What would make you happy again? What is limiting you from getting your life back? What can you do to make the first step towards getting back to normal?
You need to redefine what is "normal." Living your life differently doesn’t mean you are abnormal. You have to make a change. You must be willing to accept how things are for now in your life and move on. Your attitude about making the needed changes must be positive. You must be open to possibilities.
You are probably not the only person who has ever had this adversity in their life. Others have learned how to cope with change and get on with their lives. They redefined normal.
A normal person is well-adjusted, capable of adapting themselves to life and what comes their way. Life is unpredictable and uncertain. We need to live life in the now. Life is not a dress rehearsal.
About the author:
Rosemarie Rossetti, Ph.D. is a powerful, internationally known speaker, trainer, author, consultant, and president of Rossetti Enterprises Inc. She speaks to and consults with meeting professionals to help them save time, reduce stress, and achieve success in planning more diverse and inclusive meetings and events. Contact her to speak at www.RosemarieSpeaks.com
Download her free resource 5 Meeting Planner Musts to Include People with Disabilities.
